A broken life.

Yesterday was Saturday.

Yep. Saturday. I planned on going to Community dinner just like normal. Except for this time, there wouldn't be the normal people there. All of the interns and regular residents went to Kansas City MO. For what? Well I'm not sure to be exact. All I know that is that it was something to do with the Kansas City boiler room. Probably a pretty awesome opportunity.
When I first arrived, I found out about two of the men that had been very active in their journey toward sobriety, had made a wrong turn. To keep this to a minimum, I'll just say that it was one step in the wrong direction.
With alertnesses heightened, the dinner was anything but normal. I felt a lot of paranoia, a lot of blame, a lot of misunderstanding, and fear. I saw people putting the blame on themselves. I saw people getting angry because of the situation, and I saw people sad.
This has made me think, and I'm sure I've mentioned something before about choices. But this time I want to make a little blurp about choices in the midst of addiction.
Have you ever been addicted to something? I have. To a few things. Addictions can be both "good" and "bad." Some would label being addicted to alcohol "bad." Some would label being addicted to "t.v." not so bad. There are many different forms of addiction, yet addiction is addiction. An addiction is something that no matter how hard you try (with your own strength) you keep turning back to for support, satisfaction, or both.
Without Jesus, addictions can be unconquerable. And without a transformation with/through Jesus, one may never fully conquer that addiction. It's not about being baptized, it's not about showing your good side, or even about how godly you look. It's about that something that you fill that hole with that continues to need to be refilled.

It's Jesus.